Freedom

Free

Royal Magistrate: The prisoner wishes to say a word.

William Wallace: [shouts loud and long] Freedom!

 

The past few months I have felt a struggle going on within me. I was not even sure why, but I was having a hard time believing that God would really bring me to the place that I know He so clearly called me to, England.

I just couldn’t shake the feeling that while God may come through in a big way for others (bringing others into a beautiful new way of living out their calling) that He would not do so with me.

In my head I knew that it did not make any sense that God would ignore me, that He would lead me all this way just to abandon me, yet that was how I was starting to feel, all the same.

Knowing that God is no respecter of persons, I turned to my friend and asked for prayer.

As she started to pray she immediately asked God to feel that hole inside me that caused me to feel less than, not enough. She prayed protection over my mind and that peace would flood my heart.

It hit home immediately.

I realized that I had never quite been able to shake the feeling that the great things that God had for me would never come to fruition because I was never quite good enough.

I immediately realized that was a lie, that I needed to stop living through how I felt and start living based on the truth of the Word.

The next morning I woke up to one thought in my head, “You are worth it.” It was somewhat surprised because I felt as if it was a word directly from God to me.

I questioned God asking, “Me?”

He immediately replied, “Yes you. You are worth so much to me that I sent my only son to die for you. You matter to me, you are my daughter and I love you so very, very much.”

Then I got it!

After all the years, struggles, pain, triumphs, disillusionments, a-ha moments, and hours delving into the word, I got it.

God loves me and has great future in store for ME.

Not because of what I have done or didn’t do but because He loves me.

There is a freedom in that.

There is a freedom in knowing that you are not God’s unloved step-child that just barely made it into the family, the one that forced to live in the attic and given a list of “must do” chores that never get done.

No I am an equal Child of God that has been redeemed by His love and mercy.

So are you.

What a world it would be if we could all just throw off our shackles of feeling not enough and walk in the freedom of God’s love.

Knowing that God wants to lead us and guide us into the perfect future that He has for us because He wills it, not because we earn it.

Let us wake every morning and looking in the mirror shout (like Wallace) “Freedom!” and then walk in it.

Let us go for all that God has for us, and not allow the enemy a foothold in the door to our future.

Photo  © Rawpixel – Fotolia.com

 

 

 

Why “I Am” is better than “I”

save

“But when he saw the wind boisterous,

he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying,

Lord, save me.” – Matthew 14:30

Went to the vet yesterday. Things were going well until they told me that the rabies vaccine that the cats needed has been recalled and they are not sure when they are going to get it in again.

This is the same vaccine that they need at least 21 days before travel, there is less then 2 months before  I am supposed to leave my home (I gave the landlord notice as per Gods leading), so this makes things a little bit stressful (if I choose not to give it all to God).

I do not currently believe that(in the natural) between kids, cats, home, and a million other things, that really anymore could be added to my plate without it shattering from the weight of it all.

But then there is God!

This morning I woke to the following lyrics playing in my head:

You’re the one who conquers giants

You’re the one who calls out kings

You shut the mouths of lions

You tell the dead to breathe

You’re the one who walks through fire

You take the orphan’s hand

You are the one Messiah

You are I AM

Hallelujah you live in me

Hallelujah you live in Me

I couldn’t help but smile.

I am such a human.

I start to get so sidetracked and wonder how “I” am supposed to do it all. How “I” am supposed to fit the pieces together.

God is probably shaking His head saying, “Hello, remember me? I AM in control, I AM the answer to all the questions, I AM able to work it all out, I AM enough!

So while I like to be in control, I see a beauty in the chaos.

Because when all is said and done it will be God who gets the credit.  

Miracles have a way of doing that.

 

Lyrics written by MercyMe from the album The Hurt & The Healer

On the verge of a miracle

trust

As I have said before, for  years now God usually wakes me up with a certain song or verse playing in my head, which is meant to guide me in some way.

This morning the line was “Your on the verge of a miracle.”

This is an encouragement, as I am in need of one. 

God had me tell my landlord I am moving out by August 1st. That is only two short months away.

God has placed on my heart a huge desire to go to England and has given me some money to move but I am waiting for a miracle to happen and a door that only He can open to swing wide.

But that said, I know Gods leading enough in my life that I am willing to keep doing what He is leading me to do, even though I may appear very, very, very foolish.

Today I am going to spend a fair amount of money taking cats to a vet to begin the process of what they need to get to England.

Do I want to waste the money I have on something that will not be necessary if Ido not receive my miracle?

Not at all.

But again God has lead me here.

After prayer and fasting I know that he would not have led me to the edge of a sea, with what feels like Egyptians on my back, unless He was about to do something big.

What it boils down to is I trust God because I know Him. 

He would not be leading me in such a way if I did not trust Him.

Do you trust God to lead you to places where you need a miracle or you are sunk?

Do you really trust Him with everything?

Tell Him, and then hang on because its going to be a bumpy ride.

But worth it in the end.

 

 

Why God sent me a cat in the middle of the night

Cat

Most of the time I am super excited about what God has for me in England.

Sometime however, I am overcome with questions and angst about how it all is going to come together.

Last night, right in the middle of it, was one of those times.

The enormity of how much is supposed to get done in two months’ time, just plain freaked me out, so I turned to God and asked that He please calm my fears and give me peace.

I then heard a noise and turned my head to find my daughters cat (who was inches from my face) staring at me.

I picked her up and plopped her on my lap. She started purring instantly and fluffing me up before laying down.

This would not be remarkable except that this cat has never liked me. This cat loves my children but what usually happens when I pick her up is that she immediately scrambles to get away.

As I pet her and her purrs grew louder my fears grew smaller.

So why did God send me a cat in the middle of the night?

While it is true that God sent me the cat to calm my fears, and bring me peace.

The real answer is that God sent me the cat because He loves me.

Photo= Lisa Cline

P.S. that pic is of the actually cat….her name is Marshmallow