Trusting God in the Void

     

     Void

 

     Yesterday, after over nine years in school, I completed my last course requirement for my Master’s Degree.  For over nine years I juggled (though not always successfully) kids, work, cleaning, etc. And now that I am finished, I feel a bit strange.  I suppose that this is because there is now a question mark where there once was a plan in place.

     And though most of my previous classmates (as discussion posts point out) are already full into their careers, or are about to start one, I am kind of in limbo. While I do know that God has called me to a specific place but have no specifics I do believe that God has given me my next step. So after nine years of schooling, I will spend this next season soaking in the time with my grandson and getting closer to God.

     Though I am not going to lie, this season is not what I envisioned. I always thought that at the end of all of my schooling there would be a big shiny door open for me.

     I imagine that Ittai the Gittite felt, if only for a second, a bit like I am feeling,

     You see, Ittai was a guy that had dreams, big dreams. He wanted to work for the King. Yet, He no doubt had (as there usually are) plenty of neigh sayers. I would imagine that he heard things like, “What? You, working for a king?” “But you are a foreigner!”  “Why would you dream such a thing?”

     But against all odds ole Ittai the Gittite got the job and traveled far away. No easy task in those days. He then started his brand-new job, only to find that it looked nothing like he imagined it to be.

     For only one day after his arrival his boss, King David (along with his staff) had to flee for his life.  We see this in 2 Samuel 15:19–21.

 “Then the king said to Ittai the Gittite, “Why do you also go with us? Go back and stay with the king, for you are a foreigner and also an exile from your home. You came only yesterday, and shall I today make you wander about with us, since I go I know not where? Go back and take your brothers with you, and may the Lord show steadfast love and faithfulness to you.”

     He just got there, and his plans have turned to dust. He could have done as suggested and went home, the day after he came. It would have been easier, and for sure safer. But look how he responds;

But Ittai answered the king, “As the Lord lives, and as my lord, the king lives, wherever my lord the king shall be, whether for death or for life, there also will your servant be.”

Forget Mike, I want to be like Ittai!

     He knew what was important. It was not about his dream! It was about his king!

     Yes, my plans are not as I have imagined. Yes, I, like Ittai, have no idea what is coming next, but, like him, I do have a Boss. I do have a King that I will stick to. For,  “wherever my lord [my] king shall be, whether for death or for life!”

     As with a lot of Biblical people this could have been all there was to say about Ittai And frankly, for me, it would have been enough. But God was not done with Ittia. For in the very battle that would but David back on the thrown we see that even though it may not have looked like it, God had a plan after all.

     “And David sent out the army, one third under the command of Joab, one third under the command of Abishai the son of Zeruiah, Joab’s brother, and one third under the command of Ittai the Gittite.”” (2 Samuel 18:2, ESV)

     I do not know all that you are facing today, maybe it is a job loss, or the loss of a loved one, maybe it is a financial problem or maybe, like me, you have graduated with no real doors for your future opening up. You may be feeling a deep void in your life and may not even know why.  If so the best thing that you can do it be like Ittai, stick close to God and He will open the right door for you when it is the right time.

     Know that I am praying for all who read this post.

If you are wanting to give up…wait!! “Here is why you have not found success yet!”

 

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When I wake up, knowing that I have had a dream, the first thing I do is try and remember as many details about it as possible. The next thing I do is ask God if He might be speaking to me through the dream.

Last night I had a dream that I was on some sort of educational trip with tons of college aged students. I was late arriving and late getting to my dorm. They were all unpacked and enjoying themselves while I was trying to find my room. And I remember feeling like they all were laughing at my ineptness.

I was having a hard time and wanted to go home when another student said that he would show me where to go.

 However, before we reached the room there was a long hallway with a door would not open. As it turned out, only I, with all my life experience, could fix it. Just then a college professor passed by and told me “you are an amazing student.”

That was the dream.

The real-life fact is…

I just turned fifty about six months ago. Fifty! And I am about to begin the last two classes I need to complete my master’s degree. I have been thinking a lot about my future lately, wondering if I missed the boat.

When I asked God what they dream meant (if anything), He brought to my mind that out of all of the students, I was the only one that was there at that time, with the exact skills and life experiences, to fix that door that all the other students would use to walk through. The younger student with me did not.

God gave me the gift of writing, I believe, at birth. I have always been drawn to observe and write. It is part of me. I have, however, not done a lot with my gift, but I feel as if I am standing ON THE THRESHOLD of all that God has called me to do.

Yes, choices have consequences that often keep us from being where we want to be, but I believe that God spoke to my heart this morning, concerning the dream saying “Here is why you have not found success yet…because it was not yet your time. You needed to go through all that you have gone through to gain the knowledge that would be used fixing that door.”

I believe that God is saying to you,” Hold on! Do not quit!! Here is why you have not found the success you desire as an author, teacher, student, businessman or, singer,  etc.. because it is not yet your time.” 

You are in the process of getting the life experience that you need, to be positioned where God wants you to be.

So do not look around you and make a judgment against yourself based on others. Your journey is unique.

Keep your focus on God.

 I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
    With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. – Psalm 16:8 (NIV)

 Keep trusting God, keeping going, And Remember You are Amazing!