God, I know Your timing is perfect, and I trust You completely with my life and my circumstances. Lord, thank You for providing for the needs I have right now. And thank You for the blessings that are yet to come. Even if I never see the fulfillment of my heart’s desire, I will still honor You with my life. I pray for peace, patience and perseverance – as I put my hope in You. Thank You for comforting me during this time of waiting and for leading me in the way to everlasting life. You are my portion, Lord, and I am fully satisfied. Amen.
– From Joyce Meyer Ministries
Every day I wrestle with the voices
That keep telling me I’m not right
But that’s alright
‘Cause I hear a voice and He calls me redeemed
When others say I’ll never be enough
And greater is the One living inside of me
Than he who is living in the world
I am learning to run freely
Understanding just how He sees me
And it makes me love Him more and more
He’s greater, He’s greater
Lyrics from “Greater” by MercyMe
I have been struggling lately.
God asked me to step off the boat and follow Him.
In the beginning it was easy. I kept my eyes on Jesus, jumped out of the boat with Joy and delight and hopped and skipped with glee on my way to meet Him.
But somehow, the farther from shore I got, the harder it got for me to skip and jump.
I soon slowed to a walk because, though, I was getting closer to Jesus I was getting farther from the land that “seemed” to be so solid and dependable.
The farther out I got not only did I start to look around me and realize that the water was unsure, the water was not solid, but I started looking inward and thought that I looked to be the ultimate fool to be standing on it.
The multiple rejections I faced made me question myself.
“Who are you to believe that God would use you that way?” I asked myself.
“Look at you. You are not rich or smart, married, the mother of perfect children, or even skinny. Your have not led a charmed life, only people who do get to be in the frontlines for God.”
My walk turned to a crawl as I focused less and less on Jesus and more and more on myself.
The more I allowed myself to sink in the mire of self-doubt, and self –pity, the more that my I started to sink into the water I should have been dancing on.
Finally when I was in over my head, I turned to Jesus and He pulled me out.
He showed me that yes, I have been rejected, but no more than He.
That yes I have been bruised and battered, but no more than He.
That though the world may forsake me that He was with me and that was enough.
I talked with some friends yesterday who helped me to remember that there is a purpose in all of this.
That there are others experiencing so much more pain and brokenness.
People who need to hear His voice, feel His love, and experience the healing only He can bring.
I know that all of this has been for a reason. God has a purpose in this.
I Love God with all of my Heart, and I will continue to keep my eyes on him and allow him to lead me to scary places because I realized that nothing, and I mean nothing, is as solid and sure as He is.
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I am just beginning to realize that having faith in God is not about waiting for Him to do the next great thing in my life, but in knowing that whatever He does in my life will be the Best thing!
“But for now, dear servant Jacob, listen—
yes, you, Israel, my personal choice.
God who made you has something to say to you;
the God who formed you in the womb wants to help you.
Don’t be afraid, dear servant Jacob,
Jeshurun, the one I chose.
For I will pour water on the thirsty ground
and send streams coursing through the parched earth.
I will pour my Spirit into your descendants
and my blessing on your children.
They shall sprout like grass on the prairie,
like willows alongside creeks.
This one will say, ‘I am God’s,’
and another will go by the name Jacob;
That one will write on his hand ‘God’s property’—
and be proud to be called Israel.”
God, King of Israel,
your Redeemer, God-of-the-Angel-Armies, says:
“I’m first, I’m last, and everything in between.
I’m the only God there is.
Who compares with me?
Speak up. See if you measure up.
From the beginning, who else has always announced what’s coming?
So what is coming next? Anybody want to venture a try?
Don’t be afraid, and don’t worry:
Haven’t I always kept you informed, told you what was going on?
You’re my eyewitnesses:
Have you ever come across a God, a real God, other than me?
There’s no Rock like me that I know of.”
Isaiah 44 (MSG)
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Everything is falling apart.
Nothing is working out like I thought it would.
I thought that by now I would not only have received word that I was to go to England, but also that my kids would all have everything set in stone as well.
None of that is the case.
I am tired, worn to the core.
Yet I hold on to hope.
It may be false hope and I may look the fool.
But I believe that God called me here.
I believe that even though it is dark now, so very dark, that at just the right moment, at His appointed time,
God will shine His light.
And even if things don’t work out as I thought they would God will open a new path.
While I believe that God is under no obligation to do anything for me, or explain anything to me, I believe that because He loves us each in a personal way.
I believe that God is not like some dictator type parent who barks orders and expects us to never think but always act.
This is not the God that I have always know.
I have know a God who deeply loves me.
I have known a father, that didn’t not judge me by my past but who saw me in light of my future,
I have known a Father who had time after time declared His love for me through His word, through a song, or through one of the million “coincidences” that have happened to me since I have believed.
God is not a God of disorder (14:33) and he would not ask me to trust Him and then forget all about me, or ignore me.
He has a plan and because He is good, He plans are always good.
Jeremiah 29:11 tells me that
I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
So while right now it LOOKS like God has abandoned me, that my future is about as bright as a mining shaft, I am holding and and waiting in Hope. He has never let me down yet and I know that He will make a way.
And at just the rght moment, though it is dark, though it is cold and wet and the rain is pouring down.
He ill turn on the light, and lead the way home.
Because He loves me!
He love you too!!
Hold on to hope!!!
Hold on to Jesus!!
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