Everything is falling apart.
Nothing is working out like I thought it would.
I thought that by now I would not only have received word that I was to go to England, but also that my kids would all have everything set in stone as well.
None of that is the case.
I am tired, worn to the core.
Yet I hold on to hope.
It may be false hope and I may look the fool.
But I believe that God called me here.
I believe that even though it is dark now, so very dark, that at just the right moment, at His appointed time,
God will shine His light.
And even if things don’t work out as I thought they would God will open a new path.
While I believe that God is under no obligation to do anything for me, or explain anything to me, I believe that because He loves us each in a personal way.
I believe that God is not like some dictator type parent who barks orders and expects us to never think but always act.
This is not the God that I have always know.
I have know a God who deeply loves me.
I have known a father, that didn’t not judge me by my past but who saw me in light of my future,
I have known a Father who had time after time declared His love for me through His word, through a song, or through one of the million “coincidences” that have happened to me since I have believed.
God is not a God of disorder (14:33) and he would not ask me to trust Him and then forget all about me, or ignore me.
He has a plan and because He is good, He plans are always good.
Jeremiah 29:11 tells me that
I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
So while right now it LOOKS like God has abandoned me, that my future is about as bright as a mining shaft, I am holding and and waiting in Hope. He has never let me down yet and I know that He will make a way.
And at just the rght moment, though it is dark, though it is cold and wet and the rain is pouring down.
He ill turn on the light, and lead the way home.
Because He loves me!
He love you too!!
Hold on to hope!!!
Hold on to Jesus!!
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