When I was pregnant with my last child something happened to my face. I am not sure why my face chose to betray me, but the truth was that I looked bad. huge bumps all over my face. It was so bad that children would literally ask me questions like “why is your face so ugly?” It was so bad that when I went to an eye doctor they doctor would not allow me to rest my chin on the chin rest and even told me not to touch her equipment with my face. She even lectured me about allowing my face to get like that.
     Though my medical doctor was never able to figure out what caused it, he said that he knew it had nothing to do with what I was eating or how I was cleaning my face. He knew it was something biological. Something in me that I was not aware of and had no control over caused the outward manifestation.
     Though the way that people treated me during that time should have caused me to look back on this season with sadness, instead I look on it with joy.

     Because my husband, a man of few words never noticed the change in my appearance. Ok, Scratch that. I am sure that he noticed, he wasn’t physically blind.
But his love for me caused him to react as if he never saw any imperfections. It filled me with such joy that he still looked deep into my eyes and called me beautiful. He still hugged me tight and told me he loved me, and he never ever flinched when he looked at me. This amazed me because it was something that I would do myself when I looked in the mirror.
     Why did he treat me this way?
     I am sure that it had to do something with the fact that the love he had for me caused him to look at me differently. He did not see my imperfections but saw the real me.
     This is how God views us.
     Though we may see nothing but our past imperfections when we look in the mirror, though out guilt may cause us to think of ourselves as ugly (inside and out), or maybe people in the world treat us as if we are, without us even knowing why. Yet God does not see us that way. He looks at us through lenses of love.
     Though our past may cause us to want to hang our head, God is the lifter of our heads.(Psalm 3:3).
     If you are struggling with looking in the mirror, because of any reason, feel the nudge of Gods hand under your chin.
     Feel him raise up your chin until your eyes meet his.
     Hear these word from him:

  You are beautiful!

You are the apple of my eye!

Do not hold on to the past, let it go!

Know that your best days are ahead!

You ARE the apple of my eye!

I Love you!

Are You there God? It’s me Lisa…

Hi God


Do You remember me? The Apple of Your eye?


Or at least that is what I thought I was…once upon a time.



 It does not seem that long ago when my footing was sure and steady


When I felt closer to You than my own breath.



But now I live in a “time of testing”


At least that is what I hope it is



And my footing does not feel so sure anymore


And You feel farther than the farthest star



Worn and battle-scared,  my biggest wounds


Are those that I inflict upon myself



The worry comes as hard and fast as the questions


What will become of me and mine?



Why is this happening?


What have I done to deserve this?



Your back is all I see


And Your silence is all I hear



I wonder when did I turn from the apple of Your eye


To the child who slipped in the back door unwanted and ignored



And then I remember


This is not about me



That is doesn’t matter how I feel


Because this about what I know



So while i feel as if my worst fears will become a reality


I know that You have  always been faithful to save



While feel as if just my back will break from the pressure


I know that You will not give me more than I can handle without  You



 While I feel  so very very alone


I know that You will never leave me



While I feel as if You have brought me all this way for nothing


I know that You are faithful to complete what You started



So I will keep fight this Battle of the Mind


In Your name I will charge that hill



I love You so very much


Father, Savior, Friend



I know that these chains will soon fall off and


Things will be restored and made right



And You will free  me to go and help others


who might have forgotten or never knew



That they, are loved, and treasured,


that You long to make them whole



That You made a way for them to come to You


Through Your Son Jesus



That is does not matter what they have done


or how they feel, You love them



That they, like me, always will be


The apple of you eye



Thank you Father for loving me


Signed your Beloved Daughter