A Prayer of Surrender

Father God

I realize that I haven’t done everything right, i realize that I have wasted time trying to do it my own way.

All you have ever wanted from me is my trust, and yet I struggle.

I think about the people that have let me down, and I have projected those fears on you.

As a result I have a hard time believing that You forever have the best of intentions for me. 

That I can trust You fully and completely to lead and guide me.

But when I think of how loving, kind, and merciful that you have been to me, I cannot help but want to be one who walks closely with you, fully trusting you to lead me where You want me to be.

So change my heart God,  make me into the fiercely loyal child that you want me to be.

Remind me that this life is not my own.

Help me to daily follow your lead, as I daily choose to lay it all down at the foot of the Cross.

I make a choice to trust you fully for my future,

And the future of those I love.

I lay all of my fears, worries, struggles, and doubts down.

And I say with all my heart

You lead, Ill follow.

In Jesus Name I pray.

Amen!

 

 

It is never over with God

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Long story short. My husband passed away when my daughter was only eleven. They were very close and she was acting out a lot by age 14.

I  got to a point where I didn’t know what to do.

I prayed to God and He said, “Don’t discipline her. Just love Her.”

I was more that a little surprised and replied, “God but have you seen her behavior. This girl needs discipline.

Again He said, “Don’t discipline her. Just love her.”

So I listened to Him.

It was not easy, but I stopped trying to change her behavior and focused on being kind to her.

That gave room for God to get a hold of her.

He lead and guided her in ways I could not. It was not long before she gave her life to Jesus and started making positive changes.

Long story short, the kid who at one time in middle school spent weeks in the discipline office, spent the last year as Student Body President of her school. She was chosen by the Senior class to be the speaker at graduation, and is going on to collage to study law in hopes of being a Lawyer.

When God asks you to trust him, when you know it is God, then do it.

Do what He asks even if it is hard or doesn’t make sense.

He knows what He is doing!!!

I trust in Jesus

Opposition does not mean God is not in it

word

Freedom

Free

Royal Magistrate: The prisoner wishes to say a word.

William Wallace: [shouts loud and long] Freedom!

 

The past few months I have felt a struggle going on within me. I was not even sure why, but I was having a hard time believing that God would really bring me to the place that I know He so clearly called me to, England.

I just couldn’t shake the feeling that while God may come through in a big way for others (bringing others into a beautiful new way of living out their calling) that He would not do so with me.

In my head I knew that it did not make any sense that God would ignore me, that He would lead me all this way just to abandon me, yet that was how I was starting to feel, all the same.

Knowing that God is no respecter of persons, I turned to my friend and asked for prayer.

As she started to pray she immediately asked God to feel that hole inside me that caused me to feel less than, not enough. She prayed protection over my mind and that peace would flood my heart.

It hit home immediately.

I realized that I had never quite been able to shake the feeling that the great things that God had for me would never come to fruition because I was never quite good enough.

I immediately realized that was a lie, that I needed to stop living through how I felt and start living based on the truth of the Word.

The next morning I woke up to one thought in my head, “You are worth it.” It was somewhat surprised because I felt as if it was a word directly from God to me.

I questioned God asking, “Me?”

He immediately replied, “Yes you. You are worth so much to me that I sent my only son to die for you. You matter to me, you are my daughter and I love you so very, very much.”

Then I got it!

After all the years, struggles, pain, triumphs, disillusionments, a-ha moments, and hours delving into the word, I got it.

God loves me and has great future in store for ME.

Not because of what I have done or didn’t do but because He loves me.

There is a freedom in that.

There is a freedom in knowing that you are not God’s unloved step-child that just barely made it into the family, the one that forced to live in the attic and given a list of “must do” chores that never get done.

No I am an equal Child of God that has been redeemed by His love and mercy.

So are you.

What a world it would be if we could all just throw off our shackles of feeling not enough and walk in the freedom of God’s love.

Knowing that God wants to lead us and guide us into the perfect future that He has for us because He wills it, not because we earn it.

Let us wake every morning and looking in the mirror shout (like Wallace) “Freedom!” and then walk in it.

Let us go for all that God has for us, and not allow the enemy a foothold in the door to our future.

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