Six years ago today I lost Him but gained this…

Al

It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.
– Lena Horne, Singer

When I saw that quote I started tearing up.

For no other reason than the fact that I realize that the grace that has been extended to me, is the reason the load that I was given six years ago did not break me.

Six and a half years ago things were great. I had been married eighteen years, had four kids, and for the first time in my life was really enjoying it.

My husband, who had spent most of our marriage hiding behind a wall, was finally coming out of his shell.

He had been saved when he found out that he had cancer, the first time, and as a result he allowed God to work in his life, becoming the husband and father that I always dreamed him to be.

The kids and I were thrilled.

But the cancer came back and took him from us.

Six years ago today,April 6th 2008, he left for his real home.

He was the strong one, we thought.

He was the glue.

I did not know how I would survive.

THEN

God graciously reminded me to give it all to Him.

So I rested in Jesus.

I gave everything, all that I had, all my worries, problems, and hurts to God.

I gave the load to him because I knew that I did not have the strength to carry it.

And what I found out was that, this is how we are supposed to carry the loads that have been given.

We are supposed to carry them to God and let go and trust God, because

He is the Glue.

He is the strong one!

The reason our heavy loads can’t break us is because we are not carrying them.

Has it been easy? Heck no!

But after all these years without my husband I am convinced more than ever that God is faithful to all those who trust in Him.

Do you have a load that is too big for you to carry?

Give it to God.

He is more than able to carry it for you!

Wow! Great quote!

God does not look for perfection, He looks for obedience. ~ John Edmund Haggai

Live big for God

Attempt to do something so great for God, it’s doomed to failure unless God be in it! – Haggai’s laws

Put this on your wall to be blessed!

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“From now on, you go and listen to what GOD, our God, says and then tell us what GOD tells you. We’ll listen and we’ll do it.”
GOD heard what you said to me and told me, “I’ve heard what the people said to you. They’re right—good and true words. What I wouldn’t give if they’d always feel this way, continuing to revere me and always keep all my commands; they’d have a good life forever, they and their children!  – Deut 5:27-29

 As I read this I could not help but weep for two reasons

  1. I wept because I felt Gods broken heart
  2. I wept because of our lost potential

          I wept because I felt Gods broken heart

There is no denying it, God has given me a heart that is tender for Him. I often weep when I am reading scripture and see how much He loves us and how much He has been “long-suffering.”

When I read, I am not fooled into thinking that it was only “they” those who lives in Biblical times, that pained my God’s heart, no, I realize that far too often it is I that have caused Him to suffer.

We all have.

Far too often we get lulled into focusing on “the world” around us, which causes us to lose track of the fact that God has a heart that aches for us, a heart that is saddened when we forget Him or deliberately turn our backs on Him.

Yes, God is strong enough to “take it,” yes, God will forgive us when we “give it,” and we all have times (especially as baby Christians) when wrestling with God is something we need to do, if only to realize that He will still love us when we come out the other side, but in every-day, regular life, we need to be a people who care about hurting God.

We need to love God more than anything else and put Him first in all we do….which leads to why

          I wept because of our lost potential

My heart breaks over how much time I have wasted. God says that if we just keep our eyes on Him that He would give us a good life.

Now, that God life will look different for each person (in other words it’s not all about money), however, I know, that I know, that I know, that God’s heart for us is that He wants to love and be loved by us and in that, wants to bless us. But just not randomly, He wants to bless our socks off.

While some people do not believe that I do.

God is love, and all good things come from him.

God gave us the ultimate gift already, Jesus, He is a giver.

Plus it has always been my experience that as God blesses others I notice.

And as God blesses me people notice.  People who love God, and people who do not.

Why wouldn’t God want to get “the worlds” attention by showing how wonderful a father He is, by always providing for all our needs, and by giving us many blessings that we do not deserve?

Yet, I along with others of my faith, our faith, have wasted precious time by going my own way, by aligning my heart with a desire instead of with God.

As a result others that needed to see His goodness, did not.

Now I am not sure exactly what percentage of part I play in God’s orchestration of bringing others to Him but even if I was 1% of the equation, I am grieved that I made it 1% harder for someone to come to Christ.

I am going print and post Deuteronomy 5:27-29 to remind myself what is important, to remind myself that as Jesus said I am to love God and then I am to love others. Care to join me?

~~~~~~~~~~~

Photo © Jiri Hera – Fotolia.com

Eugene H. Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2005), Dt 5:27–29.

Shaking my head

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Sometimes I just have to shake my head at my own doubts about Gods’s faithfulness.

If He has been faithful ever other time in my life, why would he not be faithful now!

It is so easy to lose track, when the world is spinning all around you and you feel as if the rug will be pulled out from under you.

But as Deuteronomy 7:9 says

Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.

He is faithful to lead and guide us 100% of the time. And even if we get ourselves off track He will bring us back around to where we need to be.

If you are unsure of a decision give it to God.

Say “I am going to do this thing God if I am wrong change my direction to the way that I should go.” 

He will bring you into alignment of his perfect will for your life as you submit it to Him.