Every time you are feeling hurt, offended, or rejected, you have to dare to say to yourself: “These feelings, strong as they may be, are not telling me the truth about myself. The truth, even though I cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God’s eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity, and held safe in an everlasting embrace.”
One thing about God that I really love is the way is the way that He just totally gets us. All of us, wholly and completely.
It was the first Christmas without my husband. The first time the five of us would wake up early and go downstairs and sit around the tree while as presents were handed out. Five us, not six.
That year I must admit I went a little overboard on the gifts, as if I was subconsciously trying to make up for the loss of their father (and my husband) with stuff. Of course it didn’t work, but they did get sidetracked a bit.
Although I love giving better than receiving, the fact that Allan was gone meant that there would not be a gift for me under the tree. The gift’s absence just made the echo of his absence that much larger.
Actually, for weeks before it came, I was dreading Christmas.
God knew it.
God got the hurt that I was feeling over the thought of that Christmas morning.
And He planned ahead so that I would not have to feel the sting.
Eight months before Allan’s passing God put on my heart to contact a ministry for prayer concerning the near death of my daughter.
When Allan died, God once again told me to email the ministry for prayer.
This is a ministry that I think is beautiful and wonderful, but that I would have never contacted without God’s urging as I am not naturally one that wants to reach out for help.
The ministry asked for my address, so that they might send me something special. That was in April and months later I never heard from them so I assumed they had forgotten about me.
Flash forward to a few days before Christmas the mail came and I was surprised to find that I had received a very heavy box. I think it had a return address so I might have known the sender, but I remember thinking, “what in the world?”
It was close to Christmas so I thought I might just as well wait to open the box at Christmas.
When I did, I cried because I felt so very, very loved by God.
The box was so heavy because it was packed to the brim with one gift after another.
Things like a mug, a book and lotion…all things that Allan might of picked up for me.
The box not only blessed me with some pretty nice things, not only took some of the sting of the first Christmas without my husband away, but more importantly the box showed me that God got me! That God provides, and the God loves me so much that He prompted me to reach out years earlier knowing that the end result would be what I needed to get through a difficult day.
God can be trusted Always!!!
If He is asking you to do something out of the ordinary, if you have prayed about it and know that it is Him, step out and follow His lead.
You can trust that He is leading you to where you need to be. Because He not only made you, He gets you!
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Trusting God to lead you sometimes means allowing Him to lead you into places that you don’t want to go but that are necessary for growth and preparation.
Yesterday I went through some hard things. No one was killed, or maimed, or hurt, but what did happen is that God allowed an area of my heart to be exposed that, if left to grow, would of taken my focus of serving and helping others in His name, and put squarely on pleasing myself.
I realize now that even a pencil dot of me wants recognition for serving in His name, it will be a pencil dot too much.
This is not about me, it’s about, has always been about Him. So I repent of my foolish pride, and I give all that I am, once again to God, knowing that God loves me, notices me, and that is enough.
I am not sure when that door to England will open.
Maybe it will be after some more heart checks concerning other matters.
But through it all I am trusting God that He would not lead me into anything, that He would not allow anything that would not be for my ultimate good.
If you are hurt or wounded make sure that you turn to God not away from Him.
What you have experienced may have just been a horrible act done to you, or a mistake, or even of your own doing, but God can use it to shape you and mold you…or maybe he just wants to hold and heal you.
Whatever the case…Keep turning to Him. Not only so that he may work through you, but so you may to be loved and restored, because He loves you, You are important to Him!!!! And so am I!!!!