Right where I need to be!

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Every time I think I should have been born in the forties, so that I may have had a chance to dance with Astaire, or cuddle with Cary, or even shoot the writing bull with Hemingway, I remember that they did not have the technology that we have today. Yes Authors did have typewriters. But if they wanted to “cut and paste” they would have to bring out the scissors and glue. I remember that God made me exactly how I am and most importantly I am right where I need to be.

That helps when I take a look at my current crazy life. I think “if only I know exactly what my future holds,” or “if only I know exactly how I am going to manage getting ready for the move,” or “if only I know where the money is coming from.”  Those dratted “if onlies!”

I have a long history with them. Our relationship started when I was young. The questions came like rain falling down upon my head night and day. “If only  my dad was around.” and “If only I was popular like my siblings.” and “If only I was pretty like my friend.” And it continued to be my constant companion through my teenage years. “If only that boy liked me.” and “If only I wouldn’t of made that choice.” and “If only I had what they had.” Our friendship was cemented in my adult years “If only I could have more money.” and “If only I was skinny.” and “If only my husband wouldn’t of died and my kids had a father to embrace them the way that one does theirs.”

They say depth in relationships is a good thing but not where they are concerned. You see, I thought they were my closest ally but really they have been my biggest enemy. For all this time all the years when I was focusing inwardly on them, I was missing what was all around me.

Yes my dad wasn’t around me. But my mom was and she was great!! She baked cookies, talked with me,  held down a full time job, made dinner from scratch every night, and even  was my campfire leader. I have no idea where she found the time to do it all.

OK, so I was not as pretty as my friend, I was missing the fact that I had a friend that was my closest confidant for many, many years.

OK so I made some choices that I shouldn’t have. But I also made some great ones. Like choosing to walk down that church isle and give my life to Jesus at 9 and 1/2.

And finally, Yes it more than stinks that my husband died of cancer at 49. And yes it sometimes hurts to see fathers leading and guiding their children and embracing them when there are no physical father arms to embrace my own.

BUT

Although they are not all as close to God as I would like, looking back over these last 5 and 1/2 years I realize that He has always been close to them, leading and guiding them with an unseen hand.

And not only them but my as well. I have seen him do amazing things in my life and now to put the cherry on the top of it He is sending me to England, a place I have wanted to go to since I was a small child.

While I am wishing and hoping that it will all work out OK and that there are just way to many things that must come together in a very short time, and while I am reminding God of all those things and more, I am reminded by Him if I had everything figured out and no miracles were required then my move to England would not be much of a testimony.

So instead of wasting my days wishing and hoping for this or that. I am going to spend these last few months in America and look around me and enjoy everything as it unfolds and know that I am exactly where I need to be.

For I am in the center of His will.

And if you are following after Him  so are you.

If Not why wait!

Go for it!

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. Psalm 37:5

This old thing!

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So the first story that I felt I needed to share was not about how God came through for me, but how God used me to come through for someone else. I was wondering why He wanted me to start my story telling in such a way when He responded to me that “Learning to listen to my still small voice is what it is all about.”

Listening to God’s voice takes practice. The more that we think we hear Him and respond by doing what He is calling us to do, the easier it gets to distinguish His voice from the noise of the worlds, or even our own thoughts.

So I share this story not because of what I did, but because of what I learned…

Once about 7 years or so ago, when I was working at J.C.Penny (oops can I say that) …when I was working at a major retail outlet (btw they are awesome to work for), I was approached by a little old lady. Now when I say “little old lady” I mean a very, very small woman (made smaller by the fact that she was hunched over holding a cane) who was not long for this world.

Anyways, she came up to me wanting to know the final price of a shirt for sale. I was about to send her over to the cash register when God told me “you do it.” So I grabbed the shirt (actually it was more of a long-sleeved comfort shirt) and found out that it was not marked off anymore then the tag price.

When I returned and told her she said, “Oh darn, I can’t afford it then.” She looked so sad that my heart broke for her.

I returned the shirt to the rack and told a co-worker about it saying, “How sad. I wish I could do something.”

God responded instantly in that still small voice “You can.”

“How I am working?” I asked…not keep in mind this convo was going on with no spoken words. Which is a good thing or I would have looked a lot more kooky than I already am.

“You are going to be off in a half an hour for lunch. Tell her to meet you here and you will buy it for her.”

“But she is gone by now. I will never find her in this packed mall.”

“You remember how slow she walked right? You know she hasn’t made it out of the store yet.”

“But I have no money. How can I pay for it?”

Note that often when God speaks to us we have a list of excuses why we can’t do what He is calling us to do.

“You just got a J.C. Penny credit card remember. Use that and I will make sure you have the money to pay the bill when it comes.”

Right then and there I had a decision to make. I could think of a million more excuses, until it really was too late to do anything.  Or I could TRUST GOD and do what He called me to do.

I am so very glad that I listened to him. Because the result brought me to tears.

It did not take me long to find the woman and I told her my plan. She was a little late meeting me (I almost gave up and went to eat my lunch…I am glad I didn’t).

I bought her the shirt and she gave me a hug that seemed to last a lifetime. Then she, with tears streaming down her face, did something I will never forget.

She looked down, grabbed her worn shirt that she was wearing and said with joy, “Now I can finally change out of this old thing.”

I will leave you to decide what that meant, but it left me breathless.

Trusting God means to be his hands and feet in a world that sorely needs them.

P.S. that credit card did indeed get paid. Yet the amount spent cannot compare to the lesson I learned.

What an honor it is that God allowed me the privilege of such an experience.

Let me introduce myself

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So here you are reading my blog, and I haven’t even introduced myself. Sorry that’s a bit rude. So here goes.

I go by Lisa (though I always wished it was Elisabeth). I am a mother of four, and unfortunately a widow. I gave my life to Christ at 9 and 1/2 and never looked back.

Wait, halt, sorry I just flat out lied right there.

That tells you two things about me. 1) I have a very tender conscience and 2) even though I wish I hadn’t, I basically looked back about a minute after getting saved.

But that’s OK, because God is so good that He loved me anyway. He pursued me and after years of digging a hole too big to get myself out of, He reached in and pulled me out. I was around 31 at the time. From that point on I never looked back. Honest!

I am 46 now. It has been a long journey for me but through it all God’s grace has carried me through.

Some say that I have been given the gift of faith, for I simply believe what God says. I am not sure that I have been given anything that anyone else hasn’t been given, but if it is a gift than I am grateful for it, because trusting God is a whole heck of a lot easier than living a life of worry and fear.

Now don’t get me wrong. I was the the most fearful, worrying person out there, until the day I heard Him say “Trust Me!” So I took a chance and did just that, and baby step, by step, by stride, by jog, by full-on-run …I have followed His lead.

I have seen amazing things happen, all because of Him. I believe that He wants the church to rise up and just trust Him…simply trust Him. For if we don’t, He cannot work through us.

I believe that stories, true stories of how faithful and good God is, are powerful.

So I will tell some of my own, about how God has led me thus far, and I hope that you will share yours too (e-mail submissions to abbasyaldah@gmail.com).

I will also be sharing my present journey. And what I like to call my “big test.”

God has called me to England!

Knowing that I would soon receive my bachelors in Biblical Studies and Theology (with a minor in English), I sought His direction in my life and was surprised that He answered so quickly, England! How cool is that! He also said Ministry.

Do I presently know what type of ministry? No.

Do I have a job there? No

Do I have the money to move? No

Are all my kids sorted out as to where they would live? No, not all of them.

Has God asked me to give my landlord notice that I was moving out by August 1st? And then woke me up at 2:30 am to do it? Yes

Are there a million things that could go wrong? Yes

Am I at times more than a little freaked out by it all…Heck Yes

But do I trust God? That is the question! If I am compelled by God to move to England then do I trust Him to work out the details (and to Him those are all minor details)….YES!!!!

Why do I trust Him? Because in all the times that I ever turned to Him and said help, or please, or why?…He never, and I mean NEVER left me to fend for myself or go without the comfort I so needed.

He is so very, very good!

If you are a Christian you know this already, and if you are not, I hope that you will some day.

Jesus loves you-is more that a bumper sticker, it’s the truth!

So, Ya, that’s me in a nutshell…what starts with me ends with Jesus.

Have an Awesome day

And y’all come back now ya hear:)

The quick version

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Back “In the day” ( and I mean really way back in Old Testament times) they would build memorials out of stones to remember how good God was and so that they might trust Him fully in the future. We don’t have those rocks anymore…it is my fervent hope that we can gather our rocks and tell our stories of times that God was so good to us.