What do you do when you believe that God has lead you to not only a dead end but what could be the start of what might just be your own end?
I was to come to face to face with that question, like so many of His followers have before.
I was so sure of it all this time. I was so sure that the job that appeared on my screen was exactly what God had for me.
Looking at the facts I knew that
- The job “appeared” out of nowhere just as my school website had.
- The job stirred my spirit and was at a church that I felt an instant sense of belonging.
- The job was in a Country where I clearly felt called to.
- The job also seemed a perfect fit for not only my gifting’s but for my son as well.
Talking with my pastor I discussed how very sure I was that the job application would finally lead for the first time to something that has dodged me all my life, success.
That I would finally be “picked” for something.
I, like so many others, have struggled in the past with a low sense of self worth, not feeling as if I would ever amount to much, because I wasn’t as good as others.
While God has healed most of that, a small part remains. A part that is the kid on the playground waiting to be picked for a team, and hoping that this time it will finally be different. That this time she won’t be picked last. This time she will have been chosen, she will have tasted what it means to have a small measure of success.
Looking back over my life I can say that there was really rarely ever a time where I have felt chosen. Where I have truly ever felt wanted.
And Yet God!!!
God chose me!!! He has not only chosen me but He has loved and lead me so well that when this job appeared, and my spirit was stirred felt as if it was a shoe in. I believed that God would not have lead me to believe that I would finally see success only to once again for the millionth time have my hopes dashed.
And yet a few days ago it came.
A letter all the way from that country I felt called to, all the way from that part of the country I felt connected to.
I was already tired (my kryptonite) after working all day so the thought that maybe I would finally taste success, that was almost too much to handle.
My hope were high as I tore open the envelope and pulled out the letter.
And unfortunately they were again dashed.
Inside the envelope I was formally told that I was “unsuccessful” they actually used that dreaded word. I could feel Satan laughing at me, jeering me saying, “Haha you actually thought that you would have success, that you would be picked! It is never going to happen.”
I was hurt and went for a walk.
God walked with me and reminded me of some things that my daughter echoed when I returned.
God picked me and that was enough.
- I was lead here by God, just as the Israelites were led to the edge of the Red Sea. I should be expectantly waiting for Gods goodness, just as they should have been. Why? Because we have seen His working in our lives before, we have seen His loving kindness as He has lead us here. We know that He is faithful, so why believe that we are doomed?
- If you want a testimony you have to be tested!
So I am still at the edge of the sea, waiting on God.
Yet even though I have no idea why God lead me all this way, I have to believe that it was not for nothing.
I have seen His love and caring for me and my children far too many times to doubt that His intentions…no that His plan for my life, is anything but the best,
So it doesn’t matter that it looks like there is no job for me in England, it does not matter that I have been called unsuccessful in the past!
I am know that God will come through, that He hears my prayers for guidance and that He will make a way to where He wants me to be.
Don’t let the little things, or the big things stop you!!!
If you believe that He has lead you to a place where you need a miracle to happen, then expect to see the miracle. Trust God!!!!
In the end He will get you to where you and I need to be.
Photo© Konstiantyn – Fotolia.com