How trusting God caused my world to come crashing in

crash

This the update to my “A Christmas Miracle” blog post. For those that did not read it…basically God led me to have nothing prepared for Christmas for my family.

And to spend my money on other (needed) things and to trust Him to make it right.

Because I have four children (who are not so little anymore but still live at home), and because those children are used to getting spoiled at Christmas (even when I cannot afford it), this caused me great anxiety.

Every time I thought of how (potentially) my last Christmas with my children all under one roof would be an empty one, I began to feel like my world was crashing in around me.

But Faith

Yet I kept coming back to faith…simple, uncomplicated faith!

How could I trust Jesus to “save” me when I refused to trust Him to feed me. How could I trust him for all eternity when I could not trust him for one Christmas?

On my own I was shaky so I had to get back to solid ground.

I got out my Bible and read about how

The Scripture says, No man who believes in Him

[who adheres to, relies on, and trusts in Him]

will [ever] be put to shame or be disappointed.

(Romans 10:11 Amplified version).

I thought of all the people watching how all this “trusting God” business is going to play out… I realized that trusting God for Christmas is just a trial run for England and the rest of my future.

So I just allowed Him  the space He needed to show His goodness.

Any boy did He ever!

The Result

In the interest of brevity (something I am told is important in a blog post, and is something I am not very good at) I will just say that not only did God provide for every need we had (food, drink, etc) but He also took the focus off of the things and put it on our time together (not to mention Him).

As a result I spent two solid days hanging out with my family and talking and laughing…

We also went bowling…yes bowling. We are not big bowlers but we went on Christmas eve…at God’s leading…so much fun! And so many beautiful moments…like when I watched one child help another…so cool.

The Topper

And to top it off, God made sure there was a present for each of us under the tree…they were beyond awesome…mine made me cry because it is something I have wanted for a very long time.

There was a defining moment when we watched something on tv and one of the main characters said something like “people don’t often realize when they are living them, that one day these will be the moments that they wish they could re-live .”

Then it hit me

What gift God gave to me.

The Gift

The gift of foresight. How being able to drink in every second and really live in the moment with my beloved family.

In the hustle and bustle of Christmas, and daily living,  so many great moments often go unnoticed.  This gift of clarity has been a wake up call to me. I pray that I steward this gift well.

One Last Thing

He showed me that just as a bowling pins scatter, they are always made straight and set upright in the end…just like those who trust in Him.

Is your world crashing in around you? Trust in Gods good plan for your life and you will not be put to shame.

 

Photo = © cherezoff – Fotolia.com

Right where I need to be!

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Every time I think I should have been born in the forties, so that I may have had a chance to dance with Astaire, or cuddle with Cary, or even shoot the writing bull with Hemingway, I remember that they did not have the technology that we have today. Yes Authors did have typewriters. But if they wanted to “cut and paste” they would have to bring out the scissors and glue. I remember that God made me exactly how I am and most importantly I am right where I need to be.

That helps when I take a look at my current crazy life. I think “if only I know exactly what my future holds,” or “if only I know exactly how I am going to manage getting ready for the move,” or “if only I know where the money is coming from.”  Those dratted “if onlies!”

I have a long history with them. Our relationship started when I was young. The questions came like rain falling down upon my head night and day. “If only  my dad was around.” and “If only I was popular like my siblings.” and “If only I was pretty like my friend.” And it continued to be my constant companion through my teenage years. “If only that boy liked me.” and “If only I wouldn’t of made that choice.” and “If only I had what they had.” Our friendship was cemented in my adult years “If only I could have more money.” and “If only I was skinny.” and “If only my husband wouldn’t of died and my kids had a father to embrace them the way that one does theirs.”

They say depth in relationships is a good thing but not where they are concerned. You see, I thought they were my closest ally but really they have been my biggest enemy. For all this time all the years when I was focusing inwardly on them, I was missing what was all around me.

Yes my dad wasn’t around me. But my mom was and she was great!! She baked cookies, talked with me,  held down a full time job, made dinner from scratch every night, and even  was my campfire leader. I have no idea where she found the time to do it all.

OK, so I was not as pretty as my friend, I was missing the fact that I had a friend that was my closest confidant for many, many years.

OK so I made some choices that I shouldn’t have. But I also made some great ones. Like choosing to walk down that church isle and give my life to Jesus at 9 and 1/2.

And finally, Yes it more than stinks that my husband died of cancer at 49. And yes it sometimes hurts to see fathers leading and guiding their children and embracing them when there are no physical father arms to embrace my own.

BUT

Although they are not all as close to God as I would like, looking back over these last 5 and 1/2 years I realize that He has always been close to them, leading and guiding them with an unseen hand.

And not only them but my as well. I have seen him do amazing things in my life and now to put the cherry on the top of it He is sending me to England, a place I have wanted to go to since I was a small child.

While I am wishing and hoping that it will all work out OK and that there are just way to many things that must come together in a very short time, and while I am reminding God of all those things and more, I am reminded by Him if I had everything figured out and no miracles were required then my move to England would not be much of a testimony.

So instead of wasting my days wishing and hoping for this or that. I am going to spend these last few months in America and look around me and enjoy everything as it unfolds and know that I am exactly where I need to be.

For I am in the center of His will.

And if you are following after Him  so are you.

If Not why wait!